Being a nut for politics and law, I’m finding Azorius in Return to Ravnica to be one of my favorite guilds in regard to its theme. Judges, Verdicts, Warrants – all sorts of legal terms in card names. But one card in particular takes the cake, both thematically and playability. I’m talking about Azor’s Elocutors.
First, the card itself is a bomb. Delay your opponent from hitting you in any way for five turns and you win the game. You Win the Game. Only 5 turns. Isn’t that insane?
PLUS (yes there’s a plus) it’s a creature with a huge 5 toughness, so it can stand in the way of any of those dumb Loxodon Smiter
s with which your durdle opponent tries to attack you. It’s in the colors of stall, slowplay, and lockdown (blue and white), so you should have no trouble walling up your precious life total for a measly five turns. Combo it with Witchbane Orb
and you’re set!
Second, let’s talk theme. What the heck is an Elocutor?
Let’s check the dictionary:
1. a person’s manner of speaking or reading aloud in public: The actor’s elocution is faultless.
2.the study and practice of oral delivery, including the control of both voice and gesture.
Okay, so basically an elocutor is someone who talks out loud. Let’s check out those counters you put on to win the game – filibuster counters? Woah! How Political. Filibuster is a political term that means to waste everyone’s time because you’re too afraid to allow Congress to vote on a law you know will pass and you don’t like it. When a politician filibusters (like all the time), it stops anything from happening with the law being discussed at the time, and ultimately forces the opposition to give up their effort to pass the law. In other words, you win a losing effort.
The most famous real life filibuster (entering boring time for a second) was U.S. Senator Strom Thurmond, who spoke on the floor of the Senate for more than 24 straight hours to try and stop the popular Civil Rights Act from passing (however he failed, the Act was passed a month and a half later – boring time over). I think when you win with Elocutors, you should have to get up and give a filibuster speech to the whole room. Might I suggest reading from the Magic Comprehensive Rules
You can be like Senator Thurmond and waste your opponent’s time by playing Azor’s Elocutors. But unlike the notorious Senator, you’ll win.
Then again, there’s always Mr.Smith.